shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
