My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
