Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found a bag of teeth...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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