guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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