my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
