You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
