I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
