ugly people sure do ruin things
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
