This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
