I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
