I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
