Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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