1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
