Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
