PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Randomize
