i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
