Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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