I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
