He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
