Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
