I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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