the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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