Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
