Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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