xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize