Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
