Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You made out with two different species that night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
