Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize