im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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