Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
