Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
