I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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