Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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