Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she peed on how many people?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize