I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
