Where is the hickey?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
