So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
