I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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