I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
