R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
