Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We need to get me chipped asap
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
