My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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