Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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