idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
