Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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