ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
