what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
