my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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