That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
