Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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