Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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