I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
