...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
