Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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