her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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