She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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