Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
two words...techno handjob
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
