Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
