Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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