honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
worst night to have a conscience
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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