So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
