Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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