doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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