forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize