so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
