hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
