her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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