When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
