If that was your dad, he is hot
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize