Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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