I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she looked like the before picture.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
