stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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