About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
