and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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