I think im going to throw up on grandma
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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