either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
