Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
