Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pants are for mortals
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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